Words

I want to write. Just write and write and write, till I'm nothing but an empty shell and all my words lay desolate and exposed. Because I'm too full of them. My words are smothering me. I need to get them out, need to release the pressure on my mind. But I don't even know where it's coming from, I don't understand what's causing this overflow of words. And I feel like they're out of my grasp. As if I'm drowning in these words, but every time I try to focus on a certain one, it slips out of my grasp. I'm feeling so emotionally overwhelmed, so expressive with nowhere to start. I want the words to bleed out, I want to release them. Let them run, because they've been penned in for far too long. I want to lay down, close my eyes and let them seep out of my mouth, flow out of my fingers and take over. Let them close my eyes, give me rest, send the words to do my work. Because I can't anymore. I can't go any longer. I've been stretched too thin for too long, and now it's coming back to me. And it hurts. The words are pushing, clawing, beating themselves senseless in their desperation for freedom. And I'm holding them down, keeping them captive. Chaining them up and hiding them in the deepest darkest pits, where nobody can find them. Where maybe, just maybe, they will eat away at themselves instead of me, and eventually meet their demise. Because I can't rid myself of these words on my own; all I can do is bottle them up until the pressure is released...and it will be destructive. To everyone. All of those words, held back for so long, and they will have multiplied until all I can do is release word after word after word. They'll stream endlessly from my mouth, from my fingers, crawling up my arms and weaving across my body, slowly pulling me down to my own end. And it will feel right. I can finally release, finally understand the peace that all humans strive for, the peace that gives us desperation and longing. The words will bring me the peace. I just need to give in. I need to let them do the work...take over...escape...