She knows what they're thinking. She can see it in their eyes. They see no flaws. No imperfections. No failure. They see a sweet girl; one with a kind heart and compassion for others. They see a 'good little Christian' who tries her hardest in every situation.
And apparently she's better than them. Because that's what counts, right? An A+ for attempt.
Sometimes she sees herself as they see her. And it breaks her heart. Because she knows it's a lie.
She hides it well. But she has destroyed her temple too.
She has broken down doors; shattered windows; tracked mud and dirt and grime. She has allowed mold and mildew to seep into the cracks and creep along the walls. She's aware that she caused the heavy smell of sour rot which permeates the darkness.
There is nothing redeeming about what she's done. And she knows it.
On some days she closes the door and locks it with a rusty key. There are times when she attempts to scrub the grime off the walls, though it inevitably grows back four